No Sex, Just Pleasure

Go back to a time in your imagination, if you will. A time before you had sex. I know, maybe it’s been a while, but try. Remember having your first serious boyfriend or girlfriend... in the time where hand jobs and oral sex ruled the day because there was no intercourse on the menu.

Sure, inevitably, when you had sex, you couldn’t believe you had been missing out on the pleasure of it all that time--well, that is how I felt, anyway. But a time before I had sex was also a sweet time, filled with intimacy and longing.... it was a sexy time. It’s a time I like to revisit every now and again as a married woman.

Well, not really the no sex part, don’t get me wrong. I love my sex. It’s just that so often, as adults, we have a tendency in longterm relationships to rush through the foreplay and get to the main course: the intercourse. Life gets busy. We have so many other commitments and everyone does, in fact, seem to be a big rush all the time. And that is fine; but, there are times when a couple needs to forget about the sex and just go for the pleasure.

Think about it: when is the last time you and your partner both reached orgasm WITHOUT sex? There are lots and lots of ways to pleasure your partner, after all. For some couples this might be a challenge, but keep in mind, it’s also the fun type of challenge that can build intimacy between two partners. The task of foreplay implores you to really get in touch with what your partner likes and doesn’t like. And let’s face it, those likes and dislikes can change over time... when was the last time you checked in?

Foreplay only sessions require you to tap into your real desires of touch and communication... and it makes you more aware--acutely so--of the things you might have been missing in the foreplay department. There are likely whole areas of your partner’s body you might have been ignoring... or a whole section of foreplay you might be rediscovering. For instance, back rubs.

I am freaking over the moon about back rubs. I love them. It is the sure-fire way to get me in the mood at a moment’s notice. I can be tired, run down, and totally not in the mood, but one back rub from my honey and life is sexy again. And everyone has their thing: maybe yours is a hot bath or that special place behind your neck. Whatever floats your boat. Lots of guys like blow jobs.... that’s cool.

The point is, getting back to basics, if you will, leads to greater intimacy between you and yours as well as allowing you to concentrate on the other person in a new way. And let’s face it, in a longterm relationship, there is always room for a little shake up.

So the next time you find yourself with a free afternoon, evening or morning, why not take some time to get between the sheets and experience one another through foreplay only?