I'm not even joking when I say that people google this term and end up finding my blog. "How to be a perfect Italian wife." Sheesh. It makes me think that there are a lot of demanding Italian-American men out there expecting perfection from their white bread wives; but that is just what I made up in my head--who knows if it is true at all.
Be that as it may, I wanted to give an actual post so that those googlers could find a better answer, something more direct if you will. The only way to do this? In list form, of course! Here. We. Go.
How To Be A Perfect Italian Wife:
#15- Cook like your life depends on it. When anyone comes near your cooking pots, swat their hands away and tell them to mind their own business.
#14- Lick your fingers and smooth the nearest man's hair down muttering, "you have a hair out of place."
#13- Ask invasive, intimate questions of EVERYONE, but especially of people you don't know or just met. For instance, "So are you married yet?" or "Is that a gray hair?"
#12- Give opinions no one asked for.
#11- Make your own fresh pasta.
#10- Do everyone's laundry and fold it and put it away for them.
#9-Look really sexy doing everything and wear red lipstick. THINK: Sophia Loren
#8- Drink too much wine on the regular.
#7- Don't ever apologize for your bad habits and when your husband points them out, tell him he should love them.
#6- Listen to Italian music while cooking and sing really loudly (even if you don't have a great voice.)
#5- Host huge family dinners whenever possible.
#4- Laugh a ton and very loudly!
#3- If you are gonna get mad, go big, yelling, stomping, slamming doors--the whole nine. But if you are REALLY mad, don't say a word. Not. A. WORD.
#2- NEVER question your mother in law.
#1- And the number one way to be a perfect Italian wife? Throw the whole list away and just do it your way---because a true Italian wife would never let anyone tell her how to be a wife!
Be that as it may, I wanted to give an actual post so that those googlers could find a better answer, something more direct if you will. The only way to do this? In list form, of course! Here. We. Go.
How To Be A Perfect Italian Wife:
#15- Cook like your life depends on it. When anyone comes near your cooking pots, swat their hands away and tell them to mind their own business.
#14- Lick your fingers and smooth the nearest man's hair down muttering, "you have a hair out of place."
#13- Ask invasive, intimate questions of EVERYONE, but especially of people you don't know or just met. For instance, "So are you married yet?" or "Is that a gray hair?"
#12- Give opinions no one asked for.
#11- Make your own fresh pasta.
#10- Do everyone's laundry and fold it and put it away for them.
#9-Look really sexy doing everything and wear red lipstick. THINK: Sophia Loren
#8- Drink too much wine on the regular.
#7- Don't ever apologize for your bad habits and when your husband points them out, tell him he should love them.
#6- Listen to Italian music while cooking and sing really loudly (even if you don't have a great voice.)
#5- Host huge family dinners whenever possible.
#4- Laugh a ton and very loudly!
#3- If you are gonna get mad, go big, yelling, stomping, slamming doors--the whole nine. But if you are REALLY mad, don't say a word. Not. A. WORD.
#2- NEVER question your mother in law.
#1- And the number one way to be a perfect Italian wife? Throw the whole list away and just do it your way---because a true Italian wife would never let anyone tell her how to be a wife!
Omg a true italian wife must walk tall and carry a BIG wooden spoon
ReplyDeleteI liked #8! Too bad I'm mostly Scotch/Irish! =)
ReplyDeleteYou don't ACTUALLY have to be Italian to be a Bossy, Italian Wife! Heck, you don't even need to be a wife! LOL
ReplyDeleteHell this is me all the way I'm African American and Italian so so so so true but there's more to this
ReplyDeleteHell this is me all the way I'm African American and Italian so so so so true but there's more to this
ReplyDelete