Quick Fix: Overnight Oats

I kept seeing these overnight oats on different blogs and websites. I wanted to try them, but we all know I have yogurt issues, and greek yogurt is one of the main ingredients. Apparently, though, I am a glutton for punishment because I had to go in for just one more try with the yogurt.

Surprisingly, it went well. I have a hard time with breakfast in general, but overnight oats are great! They are easy, which is what I look for in a breakfast, and they are just the right size as well as being tasty. The best part? There are a million ways to make these tasty little breakfast jars, as I have learned in the last couple of weeks.

This is a good recipe to start with though. You can exchange the fruit for any fruit you fancy. Once you get it down, you will notice that you can make all sorts of yummy overnight oats. They also store in the fridge for up to two days, making them a make-ahead delight! This is a recipe for two, but is easily increased or decreased, depending on your oaty needs!

Simple ingredients--always a plus!!! Greek yogurt, mango, old fashioned oats (note that it is important to use old fashioned rolled oats for these!) honey, and milk--I use almond milk. 

What you are going to do is mix all your ingredients (minus the fruit) and then distribute into two half pint mason jars. The mason jars are great because they make for a cute little server and you can use them again and again. And again. 

Okay greek yogurt, you're on! Let's give this relationship one last try! 

If you haven't before tried almond milk, please do! It's a great alternative to milk. 

Put ya honey in! Also, sugar works. Actually I prefer sugar, but I am always trying to be healthy.... so honey works too. 

I use this ball container to mix my two servings in. It's a freezer container. You can use any old thing. Shake to combine! 

Put your sliced fruit into your mason jars. 

Pour over your oats! 

And then using a fork or spoon, coax those oats to the bottom of the jar. 

Looking good, right?! Now put a little foil or a lid on those jars, and you just stick them in the fridge overnight. When you wake up, they are ready to be eaten. It's such a healthy start to your day!!! 

Billie's Overnight Oats 

[Adapted from The Yummy Life]

Time: 10 minutes | Serves: 2 | Difficulty: Easy 

You Will Need:

1/2 cup old fashioned rolled oats
2/3 cup almond milk (or soy milk, or cow's milk, etc)
1/2 cup greek yogurt
2 tablespoons honey or sugar
1 mango, diced (you can sub out fruit if you like)

2 half pint jars

Method:

In a large container with a lid, combine the old fashioned rolled oats, milk, greek yogurt and honey. Shake vigorously to fully combine.

In your two mason jars, distribute the fruit evenly.

Pour the combined oats into the two mason jars.

Using a spoon or fork, make sure the oats reach the bottom of the jar.

Cover and refrigerate overnight.

I Found Love... On The Internet

I know what you are thinking... "you and Daren met on the Internet?!" No! We didn't. And it's not what you think. The love I found on the Internet has to do with television episodes, actually. You see, for the past eight years that I have been living at my awesomely cool farmhouse, we haven't had the internet.

At first we started out with dial up. That was back when most people had dial-up anyway, so it didn't matter much... then people started telling us myths about this awesome new Internet that came via cable. Living where we are, though, cable isn't an option, so neither was the Internet. And that was how it continued for many years. When we had nearly lost all hope of ever getting Internet access, when a breakthrough happened.

Verizon came out with the "air card" that enabled us to send emails, upload pictures and generally enjoy the benefits of the Internet outside of streaming live videos and anything of the like. Still, the air card was a boost for my work life, to say the least. (You have no idea how hard it is to maintain a blog and send anything over the Internet without the "real" Internet.)

Anyway, this year we FINALLY got the real Internet. Like, cable Internet. And since then, I have fallen in love hardcore with all the amenities... but my favorite, my very favorite, is Hulu. It is a revelation!!! You can watch all these great shows... shows that people have been telling me about for years are finally at my fingertips just waiting to be watched. Shows like Modern Family and Once Upon a Time. They come through my Apple TV right to my television!! Oh. My. God!

I have been totally cracking out on Downton Abbey as well. Seriously, I want a manor, preferably in the English countryside! I am thinking of canceling the television service, I am so in love with all the great stuff I can watch on the Internet through sites like Hulu, Netflix, and on my Apple TV. I have found love--true love--on the Internet. And I am soooo happy. 

Stuff I Use: Waring Pro Blender

When our blender totally died this year, it was time to take a big step: to buy our very first blender together. I know--it seems a little bit silly, right? To be buying your first blender together nearly 9 years after you met, but that was where we were. So to the kitchen store we went to pick one out.

Though I am generally the one who gets down and dirty in the kitchen, I did something I rarely do: I let my husband pick the appliance! That was because he is the one who primarily uses the blender, mostly for mixed drinks. I was pretty surprised by his choice of the Waring Pro blender.... mostly because I thought he was going to go for the cheapy one.

The Waring pro blender isn't the most expensive blender on the market, but it isn't the cheapest one, either, coming in at about a hundred dollars or so. What really sold us on it was the glass blender. Because that was what broke on our last one--the plastic bottom on the blender. And that's annoying. So we wanted something more durable.

Esthetically, the blender is pleasing to look at. So it gets definite points in that department. And it's simple--which I like, too. There are three settings, off, low and high. Keeping it simple.

As for performance, I am very happy with the blender. It does a bang up job on blending my stuff evenly and I haven't had any issues with it at all. I make a lot of homemade bloody mary mix, and it does a great job on that as well as smoothies and frozen pina coladas as well. I bet it will also do a kick butt hollandaise, though I have yet to try it.

A small confession on my Waring Pro, but also a reason I wanted to write this post: Cook's Illustrated, one of my favorite food-oriented magazines, did a comparison of several blenders and they didn't give my Waring Pro a good rating, which really surprised me because I have been so impressed with my machine. So I am not sold on their review, but thought it was worthy of a mention, in case you saw it, and you were wondering. Don't believe it--cause this blender has me blending in bliss!!

Also, some great points about my Waring Pro: it's made in America, which I love. Any time I can buy a product that is made in the good old USA, I love to do that. Support our country, people! And, Rachel Ray uses a Waring Pro on her television show--a fact I learned only after I bought my own, but nonetheless, pretty cool. 

Everyone Should Marry My Sister In Law

I have never considered myself much of a matchmaker, and you know, maybe I shouldn't. It's just that ever since my sister in law became single again I can't help myself... I keep trying to hook her up with every bachelor I know. It's definitely starting to annoy her, so I have to put a lid on it, but before I do, I just had to get it off my chest: my sister in law is the most eligible bachelorette I know!

Not only is she an awesome person, but she has a great job, can really hang at a party, and is very loyal. See? I just can't help but gush about how awesome she is and this why I feel like she needs to find her perfect match!

Because she has so many good qualities, I guess it's only natural that I should want to hook her up, right? The problem is that I am less than smooth. I basically say, "Hey Sarah, that guy's nice, you should marry him!" Get a couple drinks in me, and well, I kick it into high gear... and that is no good. No one ever heard of a bossy, Italian matchmaker, after all!!!

I suppose another reason that eligible single gals get us married people all excited is because we like to live vicariously through them. I am no exception. I love the fact that my sister in law is back out there and dating-- it gives me a chance to hear all the juicy details of her dates--good and bad! I want to know who is naught and who is nice and who took her out for the best date. I want all the fun girlfriend chatty stuff that comes along with dating (especially since I am not participating) and of course, I want to be there to jump up and down and scream like a girlie girl when she does find her man.

But even I can admit that I do need to butt out... otherwise I may chase away Mr. Right, and I don't want to make it weird for my sister in law, either. My other sister in law is also newly single...but I haven't had a chance to lay into her yet because she is living in Scotland (lucky for her!)

Either way, I can't stop myself from thinking that everyone should in fact want to marry my sister in law. I mean, she is a real catch, and I can't help but love her! I know I can't be alone in this whole overzealous "you wanna marry my awesome sister in law" stuff... right?!

So are you married? Are you attached and you have a single gal-friend or guy-friend you keep trying to hook up? Are you the subject of the hook-up-to-be? Share your story in the comments section below. 

Fear Not The White Apron

It's A Wrap makes retro style aprons
CLICK HERE to purchase one! 

I have a confession to make: I am afraid of white aprons. It's not like I fear them jumping out from around corners or anything, it's just that whenever I get one, I am afraid to use it because I don't want to mess it up. I know that this does, in fact, defeat the purpose of having the apron at all... and so when my friend gifted me this totally awesome white apron for my birthday, I was forced to confront my white apron fears once and for all!!

A word on aprons in general to those of you who might not wear them: what are you thinking?! Do you not cook or just have a lot of messed up clothes? Aprons are the coolest invention since they allow people to cook and keep outfits unscathed in the process. I have a ton of aprons and I am totally into them. I feel that a good apron is essential for the kitchen, and I also like to use different ones, depending on my mood. White aprons, however, have been my apron downfall....

Since this was a gift and the apron was awesomely cool, I vowed to actually cook in it and not pass up the opportunity to don the beauty. It's not like I am going to go canning a bizillion tomatoes in it or anything, but I am going to use it. Maybe for making chicken. I think it could survive grease splatters.

The thing is, this apron is like every white shirt I have in my drawer that never gets worn because I am afraid to mess it up due to my incessant cooking... and I need to get over myself. These things are material. Replaceable. And completely nonexistent if you don't use them for their intended purposes. Like, if I had a friend who said she had wedding china that she never used because she didn't want to mess it up, I would say, "well what's the point of having it at all?" Some things we just shouldn't worry about.

Since I have obviously gone to the point in this conversation where I have given so much over-thought to the subject of white aprons, I feel like I need to reach a resolution once and for all. I will fear not the white apron. I will embrace it. I will love it. I WILL COOK IN IT!

And on a nondescript Wednesday, that was just what I did: I cooked Carbonara in it and it was fantastic. Most surprisingly, my white apron did not spontaneously combust. So I think I will actually use it again!!!

So what about all of you out there in the abyss we know as cyber space? What do you fear? Is it a kitchen gadget... an apron... your grandma's china?? Share in the comments section below and tell me how you are gonna change your fearin' ways!!! 

Quick Fix: Baked Ziti For A Crowd

Today I would like to be a naughty Italian-American... and by that I mean that I am not only going to use store bought pasta, but I am also going to use store bought sauce (GASP!) What's worse? We aren't going to spend any time feeling bad about it! Sometimes life gets busy and when that happens, Italian-Americans buy canned sauce. (but please, don't tell my grandma!)

Seriously though, three ingredients and you have dinner for a crowd. We're talking under $10 people. This is good for a last minute gig, or a busy day. You can also make it ahead, which is awesome because everyone loves something they can make ahead. I do want to say, though, that if you are going to make this, please have an actual crowd to feed.

I made the mistake of making this and then realized that I had not invited anyone to dinner. I made a few phone calls but could only manage to bribe my sister in law into coming... the result? A huge casserole dish in my fridge of pasta. It did not go uneaten. It was consumed nearly entirely by me in a time span so short I am embarrassed to even admit it.

Hi, my name is Billie and I am addicted to pasta. It's gonna be a long road because even though I know admitting it is the first step, I have no intention of recovery. Deal with it.

Today, your life is easy because you, my friend, are cooking with three ingredients. Simplicity: it's a beautiful thing. 

Cook your pasta according to manufacturer's directions. 

And drain. 

Then, return your pasta to the pot (of course, you have turned off the heat) and add about 2/3 of the can of sauce. 

Stir it up... little darrrrrlin'...stir it up. 

Put some reggae on your iPod... proceed with cooking. 

Put your purdy pasta in a casserole dish. Your big one. 

Getcha ricotta ready! 

I used whole milk ricotta. I mean, if you are going to go ricotta, why not use the whole milk variety? I find the reduced fat versions to be watery. And I swear to you, if you use cottage cheese in place of ricotta, the ricotta gods are going to smite you. Your guests might be polite as you tell them how much "like" ricotta it tastes, but they are only humoring you while they plot their revenge. Seriously. 

Distribute in even dollops. 

Now the fun part! 

Press it down with your spoon, like so, so that the ricotta isn't just floating atop a sea of pasta. Cause that would be silly!!! 

It should look something like this... 

Pour on the rest of your sauce, you saucy fool you! 

Wow! So easy. 

Cover it with foil and wait until you are ready to eat. 

Then you just pop it in the oven on 350 for 30 minutes and: 

TA DA! Dinner. Ah, that feels good, don't it?! 

Baked Ziti For a Crowd 

Time: 20 minutes (plus 30 minutes bake time) | Serves 6 | Difficulty: Easy 

You Will Need:

1 pound box of ziti 

1 26-ounce can of pasta sauce 

15 ounces whole milk ricotta cheese 

1 large casserole dish 

Method: 

Cook pasta according to manufacturer's directions; when the pasta is done, turn off the heat, drain the pasta, and return it to the pot. 

Pour 3/4 of the pasta sauce onto the pasta and stir to combine. 

Pour the pasta/sauce into the casserole dish. 

Using a tablespoon, distribute ricotta cheese in dollops evenly (see picture). Using the tablespoon, push the ricotta dollops down into the pasta so that they aren't sitting in the pasta, but rather, nestled in it's pasta arms. 

Pour over your remaining sauce evenly. 

At this point, you can cover it with tinfoil until you are ready to cook it, up to one day ahead (such a time saver!) 

-OR-

If you are ready to cook, place it in an oven preheated to 350 degrees, and bake for 30 minutes. 

Serve to a hungry crowd! 

Bossy Italian Wife On HuffLive!

So last week was really crazy. And by crazy I mean I had a house full of guests--my two friends with their two children, both under the age of 4--and just as they arrived for their three day visit, what do you know, HuffLive (they new live web channel from the Huffington Post) contacted me to see if would do a spot on their site. It was a commentary spot for a piece called, "Dude, You're not Italian!"

Pretty funny, huh?

Of course, despite the guests, the newspaper deadlines, and the fact that I was in the midst of planning my birthday party for Saturday, I had to just take one more thing and pile it up on my plate. Why not? You only live once... unless you are buddhist, and in that case, I am only in this life once. So I had to.

It was really fun. Though the host was trying his best to be disapproving of the fact that fourth generation Italians (and other ethnicities) are claiming their ancestral ties, I totally held my own. I was the only female on the panel, and I would also like to note that I was the most tan Italian-American on the panel. These things gave me great pleasure.

HuffLive liked me so much, they even asked me to be in a second segment the next day...which, despite the fact that I had my other two friends with their four children coming over for a pool date with my two friends and their two kids and still trying to plan that party, I had to also do.

You can check out both these nifty things I did by clicking on either of the two links below:

Dude, You're Not Italian! 

Community Sound Off 

I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!!! And keep checking back on HuffLive for great news segments and more!!!! 

What The Boys Remember

Do you ever wonder what the boys were thinking in high school? Or now for that matter? I know I cannot be alone in this. The truth is, in high school I was teased a lot by "the boys." I know. It's crazy that anyone would ever tease Bossy Italian Wife... but maybe I was easy to get. Short fuse.

I was called slutty and/or I was teased by them because maybe they wanted into my pants or something. But a recent reunion with an old high school friend of mine gave me unusual insight into what the boys were thinking... or moreover what they remember about me.

It all started very innocently...with a text message from the friend I was hanging out with to another chum, saying he was hanging out with me. We hadn't seen each other in nine years, so I have to admit it was noteworthy (or blog worthy, as it were). The guy texted back that he remembered me--as his first crush....in the fourth grade! This sounds weird, but I was completely excited about it mostly because I thought only women remembered those strange details.

Apparently we are not. And I feel that this story warrants elaboration mostly because it's genuinely cute. This man in question, let's call him Jason Biggs, and I shared said fourth grade crush. And it was Valentine's Day. Well, Jason Biggs had in store for me the most romantic moment of my young life.... and he actually bought me my first-ever bonafide box of chocolates. This box of chocolates was not like any other box of chocolates, which is why I remember it so well.

It was made of a light pink cotton which was glued onto the box in a very intricate manner. It came to the middle and had a pink rose in the middle. Plus, it was huge. I'm talking candy-coma huge. There were enough pieces of chocolate to keep me in candy for at least three weeks. I took my box of chocolates from Jason Biggs and I was the happiest gal in the fourth grade... that was, until I met his mother on the sidewalk after school.

Imagine the deflation I felt when she came my way, and I realized she was coming toward me. I said nothing as she told me, "Well I had to meet you!" When I asked why she said, "[Jason Biggs] lied to me and told me that those chocolates were for me. Then today I found out they were for you. I wanted to see the girl my son lied to me for." Ooof. Harsh. I clutched my chocolates tight in my arms and scurried off. (I didn't want her asking for them back or something!)

The point is, this small morsel of what the boys remember made my heart smile and gave me a glimmer of hope--no matter how shallow. I am certainly not saying that it changed my life when I learned that someone remembered their fourth grade crush... it's just that sometimes I wonder what in the heck people do remember about me from the past.

And that is a welcomed bit of remembrance, if you ask me. Also, under that premise, all the guys who said that they slept with me when they didn't (three such come to mind) must also truly remember their penises never touched my vagina. Just sayin'. 

Pitching & Chocolate Zucchini Bread

I have been pitching a ton of articles these days... it's part of that behind the scenes stuff that writers do whilst others think I am twiddling my thumbs. Let the record show that I do, in fact, twiddle my thumbs in between queries, but I do not twiddle in lieu of querying. Point is, once you've sent out umpteen different pitches, sometimes it feel like your scatterbrained and then all there is to do is wait. And Wait.

Because hearing back from an editor can take, like a long time. They are busy people, after all.

So, on a day when I have sent a pitch that I am particularly fond of, I can have a tendency to have  a build up of nervous energy. That's when I  like to cook. Cooking takes my mind off of whatever real successes or failures I am having in my professional life and allows me to focus solely on my successes or failures in the kitchen. That and it keeps me from obsessively checking my email to see if anyone in cyberspace has tried to reach me.

This was precisely the headspace I was in on a Tuesday afternoon when I decided to make chocolate zucchini bread. It had been calling my name for DAYS. While I kind of suck at making biscuits or real breads without the help of my trusty bread machine, quick breads (those without yeast) happen to be something I can actually bake.

Caution: drool ahead. Oh, and a quick fix for when your bread falls apart. Yes, a slight kitchen hiccup... ah well. It wouldn't be a week in the kitchen without a little broken bread!!

When I laid it out like this, it seemed like a lot of ingredients... but I had 'em all, so I guess it doesn't matter. Most people who bake will probably have them too. 

Ladies and gentlemen: a gi-normous zucchini. 

I shredded a cup and half of that bad boy for the recipe... which, honestly, wasn't enough. It was hard to taste the zucchini in the bread in the end. It was more chocolate than anything else. Not that anyone complained. They didn't. 

Dry ingredients... 

Okay, so I had everything laid out and ready to go into the mixer. 

All I had to do was turn it on and add the stuff! 

And so I did! 

Lots of chocolate... which I don't know why I was craving chocolate because generally I am not into sweets. This day I was. 

Batter up! 

By the time it came out of the oven, it was looking prrrreeeeeetttty awesome. 

Unfortunately, it was looking a little too awesome if you ask me, which is why I prematurely tried to take it out of the pan. It was a bad decision. 

That resulted in this being the bottom of the bread... 

I just took the stuff out of the bottom of the pan and smashed it back together. Whatever. "Who's to see" as Julia Child would say. 

Crisis averted, bread desserted! 

Yes, this made quite the dessert. 

CLICK HERE for this mouthwatering recipe!!!! 

It's My Birthday! Let's Party With Pickles & Sex

Today is my birthday. I turn 27 years old today and that is nothing to shake a stick at, mostly because I don't shake sticks. The truth is, I have never felt younger. Or more cool. I feel young and cool, so there. Maybe you are supposed to be all like, "oh I feel so old on my birthday," but over the weekend, I  had a dance party that included Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, so I'm feeling rad.

Since it's my birthday today, I wanted to do something special, but also something that was totally "me." Let's face it, birthdays are the one day where you get to be all "you" and no one is allowed to give you a bunch of crap about it. So what would I pick... there are two things I came up with.

Sex and pickles. I know, at first it seems a strange combination, but they really are two of my favorite favorite things.

First of all, I am really into sex... it's awesome. Who can disagree? Orgasms are awesome. I am hoping to get one for my birthday. I don't think anyone should be missing out on the pleasure of sex; it's one of life's great pleasures, along with food of course, and it is meant to be enjoyed. The great thing about sex is that it can be enjoyed so many different ways--it never gets boring!

You can enjoy sexual pleasure alone or with a partner... heck, if you are really adventurous, you can enjoy it with a crowd. Whatever, I'm not judging. There are also a variety of ways in which to enjoy it with one partner, and that rocks too. In the nearly nine years I have been with my husband, sex has never lost it's luster, we just keep finding new ways to enjoy it....

And in this way, sex is like pickles. Er, it's like pickling.

Okay, you all know how into canning and preserving I am these days, right? Well, some people are more into the instant gratification style canning than the arduous process of canning. Hey, I get it. Some people like random hook up sex, and others like marriage sex--it's a diverse world. But just because I like the long process canning for storage doesn't mean I'm not into a little quickie every now and again.

That was why I tried refrigerator pickles last week. Refrigerator pickles are the quickie version of canning pickles, and any way you cut it, a pickle is a pickle... and I love me some pickles. So in the name of diverse sex and pickles, I wanted to share this recipe with you, along with some pictures of my pickles.

If you want to try your hand at canning, and you are looking to tickle your pickle, give this recipe a try. I adapted it from THIS RECIPE. So feel free to try both. I was just feeling adventurous... what can I say, that's the type of pickler I am.

Cut up your cucumbers--you will need about 6-8 small ones. Less if they are bigger. 

Pack them into your jars. Then add in some spices and herbs. I used: 

fresh dill

fennel

garlic (whole clove)

red pepper flakes

black peppercorns

These jars are packed and ready for their brine! 

A word on brine: it's really very easy. It's basically kosher salt, vinegar and water. Easy. 

This blue thing comes with a ball canning starter kit and is immensely useful. It funnels your liquids and/or solids into the jar all neatly. In this case I am using it to see my brine safely into my jars. 

All brined up and ready to go...

Purdy, right? 

Leave them to reach room temp and then stick them in the refrigerator. Wait two days and then EAT! They should last at least a couple months in the fridge because vinegar is a great preservative. 

Billie's Easy Refrigerator Pickles 

[Adapted From thekitchn.com]

Time: 30 minutes, tops | Makes 3 pints | Difficulty: Easy 

You Will Need:

3 pints jars, with lids and bands 

6-8 small cucumbers, sliced into long strips 

fresh dill 

6 cloves garlic, peeled 

black peppercorns

dried fennel seeds 

red pepper flakes 

1 cup apple cider vinegar 

1/2 cup white vinegar 

1 1/2 cups water 

2 tablespoons kosher salt 

Method: 

Wash jars, lids and bands in hot soapy water and dry. Set on a towel (we always use the towels so that the jars are protected). 

Slice the cucumbers lengthwise so that they fit easily into the jars. You want to leave about a half of an inch of headspace in the jar. 

Place two cloves are garlic in each jar atop the pickles. place in a sprig of fresh dill (more if desired) into each jar. Add some peppercorns, fennel seeds, and red pepper flakes to each jar. Eyeball it--don't worry too much about the measures, but you don't want to douse it. A few of each will do nicely! 

In a medium saucepan, combine the kosher salt, vinegar and water. Bring to a boil. 

Pour the hot brine into the jars, carefully, leaving that 1/2 inch headspace at the top. 

Secure the lids and bands on the jars and leave them to sit until they reach room temperature. Once at room temp, place they jars in the refrigerator. Let them sit at least a couple days before you open them up. 

ENJOY! 

Is Kristen Stewart Really Just Human?

Jodie Foster. Damn that woman. I love her. And some of you might recall a little movie she did with a young actress, Kristen Stewart, called Panic Room. It was, overall, a pretty good movie. And Kristen was an eager child... pretty much portraying the standoffish personality she still embodies in film, only then she a was a child of only 11, not a woman with a Hollywood mansion and some British boyfriend.

Still, Kristen Stewart is only, like 22 years old. And it's easy to forget that while we are watching pictures of her dalliance with a married director smattered all over tabloids and US Weekly. That is, until Jodie Foster so movingly reminds us that Kristen Stewart is just an actress and her private life is, in fact, meant to be private.

There is a humanity that actors have that we public often forget about. I am among those who like to secretly judge those tabloid headlines while publicly pretending I don't care what happens. But let's face it, I watch the Kardashians and I am mildly addicted to them; I care if Scott and Kourtney stay together, what they name their child, and whether Kim and Kanye are dating. Is that shallow? Probably...

But the Kardashians are putting it out there... and Kristen Stewart is a young woman in an unforgiving career path whose private life was actually sought after, invaded, and then used as fodder for entertainment. And Jodie Foster has me thinking that it's something different. 

For all my talk about adulthood and freedom and such, when you come down to it, Kristen Stewart is really just a young woman trying to come grips with a complicated existence in the public eye. This British costar of hers was her first love; can you remember all the horrible things you and your first love did to one another??? I sure can. I can also say that he was my costar. Albeit it was a high school production of Romeo and Juliet and we were much less in the public eye, but the scrutiny tends to feel the same, doesn't it??

When I broke up with high school R & J star, (whom I lovingly refer to in my blog as Steve Martin), people made up the most ridiculous things about us... that we had sex on the stage of the school with the lights on. That he was having sex with my best friend. That I had cheated on him first. That we were still secretly together. Whatever. Maybe some of it was true... though I am not one to say which parts.

The truth is, sometimes love comes out beautifully and other times it's a beautiful effing mess. Most of us don't have to go through it in public, thank god. For some strange reason, we have this notion that if people are celebrities, it means that they are willingly subjecting themselves to this public scrutiny and that they simultaneously deserve it. It's a bit puzzling, too, because most celebrities are willing to give us an inch, but we'd rather have the mile, wouldn't we?

Maybe we need to spend a little more time worrying about what goes on in our own homes, with our own spouses, and our own children rather than looking to others to provide us with good stories. It's a whole lot of drama. People make mistakes. Even celebrities make mistakes. Go down the block and you'll find a story just like Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattison. They are, after all, only human.

No need, as Jodie Foster points out, to drag them into your dregs to check their pulses and see just how human they might actually be. 

Quick Fix: Butter & Buttermilk

I know what you are thinking... you are thinking that you misread the title of this post because how in the world can BUTTER be a quick fix? I know. I know. What's even more amazing is that I stumbled on this quite by accident when I was bitten by a baking bug one Saturday morning last week. (But that is another story entirely.)

The point is, I needed buttermilk and so I googled "how to make buttermilk out of heavy whipping cream." And I know that most people would be like, "Well you can add vinegar or lemon juice to regular milk and make buttermilk." Of this I am aware, but Bossy Italian Wife doesn't buy milk. I buy almond milk. But I do buy heavy cream; to some this might sound weird. It's just how I roll.

The googling, though, well I have to say it was the best decision I made last week, hands down. Turns out, it's inexplicably easy to make ACTUAL REAL buttermilk if you have heavy whipping cream. Most wonderfully: the by product of the buttermilk? BUTTER.

To some of you, this may not seem like such a revelation. To me, however, it was like being shown the light. The butter light turned on and it was like gazing into a baking crystal ball and seeing my future. It was full of homemade butter.

If you have 6-10 minutes, a food processor and some heavy whipping cream, you too can have butter and buttermilk. A word of caution because, if you do this, you might be so excited that you will yell at your dogs and tell them how awesome you feel about making butter and buttermilk. So maybe invite a friend over so you can have someone to share your joy.

Okay, enough talk: it's time for pictures!!! And I'm going to apologize for my lack of food processor pics because I totally was in the moment on this one! So it catches up when the actual end result is present....

I took the whole thing and poured it over a strainer because I didn't want to lose a drop.... 

Top View.... 

It's a lot of butter, right? 

Butter...it's what I got... I said remember this.... 

Okay, enough funny talk. Here's the skinny: 

Take 2 cups of heavy cream and put them in your food processor. 

Turn it on. 

Wait. 

The heavy cream will first turn to whipped cream, but you are going to pulverize it past the point of no return. The whole time I was making mine, I was like... really? How will I know? 

You will just know, trust me. 

All of a sudden, after about 5 or 6 minutes you will see an abrupt change in the look of the cream and there will be a separation between the butter and the milk. 

If you are feeling unsure, TASTE! 

Then pour through a strainer. 

You will get about a cup of buttermilk and a half pound (that is my totally un-calculated guess) of butter.