Before you find Mr. or Mrs. Right, you are likely to go through a lot of Mr. and Mrs. Wrongs. No matter how it happens, break ups are hard to take. Dumpee and dumper alike tend to feel a little lost afterward, and it's a time of transition. In times of transition there are a couple of things you might want to avoid...because you just might not be in the right state of mind.
Here's my list of things NOT to do after a break up.
Don't go on a spending splurge you can't afford.
Sure, retail therapy can feel great, but don't overdo it. Credit card bills are real, and I know that many people don't pay them off ever month--this is a BAD thing. So don't go out and spend on your plastic in the name of feeling better. If you must spend, set a limit, pay in cash and be over it. In fact, extreme indulgences of any kind--boozing, benders, and food--should be avoided because you're vulnerable, and that is okay, but you want to deal with it in the right way.
Don't take to the couch with the ice cream in your hand.
It's the classic picture, right? The act of sitting on the couch with the ice cream tub in crying as you watch a tear jerker...but that kind of indulgence can only fly for a couple of hours. I don't care what anyone says--it's not taking are of yourself, it's just the opposite. Hit the gym or go on a walk with friends. Exercise jump starts all those great chemicals in your brain and will have you ditching that ice cream and sweatpants state-of-mind.
Don't bounce from rebound to one night stand to rebound
Tempting as it might be to find comfort in the arms of another, well, don't make it a habit. You can't find love when you are busy looking in all the wrong places. While it might be nice to have a rebound, don't get too wrapped up in too many of them, otherwise you might miss out on the real thing.
Don't make the same mistake twice.
The funniest thing about failed relationships is that they have a way of repeating themselves. It's not because we want it to happen, but more because we don't spend any time reflecting on our own mistakes. Take a deep look into yourself after a break up and decide what you want to change in yourself for the next relationship. Even if you were the dumper, chances are you are repeating a pattern that is leading to failed relationships.
So take a hard look at what that might be so that the next time around, you are ready to open your heart and life to the RIGHT kind of person.
Here's my list of things NOT to do after a break up.
Don't go on a spending splurge you can't afford.
Sure, retail therapy can feel great, but don't overdo it. Credit card bills are real, and I know that many people don't pay them off ever month--this is a BAD thing. So don't go out and spend on your plastic in the name of feeling better. If you must spend, set a limit, pay in cash and be over it. In fact, extreme indulgences of any kind--boozing, benders, and food--should be avoided because you're vulnerable, and that is okay, but you want to deal with it in the right way.
Don't take to the couch with the ice cream in your hand.
It's the classic picture, right? The act of sitting on the couch with the ice cream tub in crying as you watch a tear jerker...but that kind of indulgence can only fly for a couple of hours. I don't care what anyone says--it's not taking are of yourself, it's just the opposite. Hit the gym or go on a walk with friends. Exercise jump starts all those great chemicals in your brain and will have you ditching that ice cream and sweatpants state-of-mind.
Don't bounce from rebound to one night stand to rebound
Tempting as it might be to find comfort in the arms of another, well, don't make it a habit. You can't find love when you are busy looking in all the wrong places. While it might be nice to have a rebound, don't get too wrapped up in too many of them, otherwise you might miss out on the real thing.
Don't make the same mistake twice.
The funniest thing about failed relationships is that they have a way of repeating themselves. It's not because we want it to happen, but more because we don't spend any time reflecting on our own mistakes. Take a deep look into yourself after a break up and decide what you want to change in yourself for the next relationship. Even if you were the dumper, chances are you are repeating a pattern that is leading to failed relationships.
So take a hard look at what that might be so that the next time around, you are ready to open your heart and life to the RIGHT kind of person.
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