Cooking With Friends [I'm a Control Freak]

Guys, I have a confession to make...I am bad at sharing. Does anyone else have this problem? Even worse than the problem itself was my obliviousness to it. Well, I guess now would be the time to say that maybe it's not about sharing, but more appropriately, about control.... It has to do with my kitchen.

I like things a certain way, and I have a system of cooking that works so well for me. Also? I'm Italian-American, and I feel like when I am entertaining, I want people to sit, relax and leave the work to me. But a couple of years ago, a dear friend of mine asked me if she could help me and I said, "Yes! Do you mind chopping this lettuce?"

As she was chopping the lettuce, she said, "Wow, Billie, I've known you for over seven years and this is the first time you have ever let me touch anything in your kitchen." Oh. My. God. 

I wanted to sink into the floor. I realized not only how right she was, but what a freak I must have been not to let anyone touch anything in my kitchen ever...not even my closest friends. It was then that I began to make a conscious effort to let people use my kitchen when they offered--give them something to do--and to give up my reign of terror over the kitchen. 

It was like I had to tell myself: you are not superwoman, and no one wants you to be. The bottom line? When people ask if they can help, take them up on it. Stop being a freaking control freak! 

So, after all my trying to stifle my inner control freak, I was tested: a friend of mine asked me if he could cook dinner for me, in my house. I said yes! While it was really hard for me not to do anything, it was also really empowering to relinquish control. I did so well, I even let my sister-in-law cook in my kitchen when she moved home and offered to cook for me. That was a few months ago, and since then I have to say, I am feeling as though my control freak recovery is going really well. 

These days, I am cooking with friends more, and making a conscious effort to let people share in the fun. I don't want to be one of those uptight people who never shares, and teamwork in the kitchen, as I have learned with my canning group, helps you form bonds that go deeper than the activity itself. My friend Paul has now cooked for me twice AND get this: he's cooking for me again tonight!!!

I am getting quite used to not cooking for myself every, single night of the week. Now, I realize that everyone's control issues may be different. My kitchen issues may be someone else's cleaning issues. But one thing remains the same: we've all got them.

So what is your control freak issue? Are you working on it, in recovery, or just plain in denial?! Share with me in the comments section below!!!