When Being a SAHM is the Pits

I love being at home with my daughter. It's awesome watching her grow and learn new things, and I cherish the time we spend together....mostly. Like anything in life, it has it's downsides. Some very specific downsides. Here are a few times when it downright sucks to be at home with a kid.

On a rainy day
OH MY GAWD. Just let us out! Some days when it's just too rainy to go outside (but still warm) I find myself climbing the walls and searching Pinterest for "rainy ay activities." Thank god for nap time, or I might lose my mind, which brings me to...

The day they don't nap
Even the best of sleepers has their moments. And when those moments come, I find myself terribly stressed. Nap time is my only break time. Well, I should say for me they aren't even really breaks, they are the times when I am available for working. So when she doesn't sleep, I don't work, and then I am stressed. By afternoon, I am feeling all kinds of crazy.

The day they don't want to be put down, like, at all.
These days I just wish I could get a memo that went something like, "Today you will not be allowed to put me down, at all." I would be better able to cope in that case. But these days come without warning and it's most likely to be on the days when you least expect it. By the time my husband walks through the door, I am practically throwing my kid at him. Though I have to say that on these days, I sometimes am able to find a touch of grace and remember that someday she won't want me to pick her up, and I hold her extra close.

When you are sick
This is my number one hate hate HATE being at home moment. There are no sick days for mom. None. Even when I am sick enough that I have to call over help, I find it so difficult to take the rest I actually need. I don't know why, exactly, but I guess it's in my DNA. For this reason, it takes me so much longer to recover, making the cycle go on for longer than I would like. It's the freaking worst.

When your husband needs alone time 
They need it...because they work and do a host of other fatherly duties that are essential to the function of the family. So I understand the logic between "hey I need a day" or even a weekend, away from the family to recharge. But....BUT! That doesn't make it easier on mom. As if we don't already work overtime on the regular, now you want me to pull an extra day--alone?! Sometimes it can be a breeze, and other weeks? Oh man, look out!

All in all, I love being a stay at homer. It's great...except when it's not. I read this saying once "the days are long but the years are short." Ain't that the truth. But if you are having a day that finds you on the ropes, just know we all have them and, yes, it sucks donkey balls.

Chickpea Summer Salad Recipe

"Never complain, never explain" 

<<this quote has been attributed to Katherine Hepburn, Benjamin Disraeli and Henry Ford, but since [apparently] none of them explain, we don't know who actually said it>>

How can I explain the lack of cooking posts on my formerly VERY cooking-centric blog? Well, maybe I shouldn't even try....All I can tell you is that I have, in fact been cooking. I've been cooking quite a lot and every time I think to myself, "I should put this on my blog!" 

But I don't. Mostly because I never have a camera handy. Sometimes you just gotta grab your camera phone and snap one and say "to hell" with picture quality. I guess. It's hard for me because I am recovering perfectionist. 

However, the other day, I made this salad, and I thought, "OH YES! Gotta share this one." So grab my phone I did. 

This summer salad is my new favorite. 

As many of you know, I've been on a journey since my daughter was born: a nondairy journey. At first, she couldn't tolerate the presence of dairy in my breastmilk. Then, I just liked having a nondairy diet. Now, it seems that through cutting out dairy I've developed a lactose intolerance. I have not come to grips with this fact totally and sometimes I wade in the dairy water, only to be sorry about it later. Very sorry, in fact. 

Anyway, this recipe is dairy free. But fabulous. And healthy. And light. And summery. 

Chickpea Summer Salad Recipe 

Time: 10 minutes | Serves: 4 | Difficulty: Easy 

You Will Need:

1/2 bunch cilantro, chopped

2 cloves garlic, minced 

2 cucumbers, peeled and chopped

1 tomato, chopped

1 15 ounce can chickpeas, drained 

olive oil

balsamic vinegar 

salt and pepper to taste 

Method:

Combine the ingredients in a medium bowl. 

For adding the dressing ingredients: Circle the bowl once with the olive oil. Add a couple of tablespoons of balsamic vinegar (less or more to taste--remembering you can always add more, but you can't add less!) 

Add in your salt and pepper. 

I like to let mine sit in the fridge a couple hours to get nice and cold and marinate. You can make it up to a day ahead and it'll be delicious! 

Manga! 

Dear Parents: Don't Drink The Kool-Aid

Dear Parents of America,

Hi. I've joined your ranks-- been here just over a year. In my time, I've noticed a few things that have grown me for a loop, prompting this here letter. You see, in America, I've noticed that we tend to worship at the altar of children, and to be honest, it's starting to scare me a little bit.

When I was a child, things were different. It's not that they were necessarily better, but they were different. You used to be able to do things like get in playground fights without being considered a terrorist, and we weren't all expected to be prodigies who excelled upon exit from the womb. We didn't have antibiotics in our chicken, and when I got my report card in elementary school "O" was a grade (for "outstanding," and it was above an A). We couldn't talk on the telephone during a lightening storm because you could get electrocuted. Through the phone.

Today, things are a little different for children. They graduate from preschool, kindergarten, fifth and eighth grades as well as high school and possibly college. Everyone gets a trophy at field day, and they are all packing organic bento boxes for lunch at school. They have cell phones and FaceBook and whatever other social media crap is coming down the pike that we'll have to learn about next. My how the times have changed...

In many ways today's kids are going to grow up with a lot more than we had, for example, the Internet, the instant connection to global society, and to be sure, they are going to be a hell of a lot more technologically savvy than we ever were. I already see how children of today are less racist, more tolerant, and generally more accepting of all types of lifestyles than anyone I've ever met. And that's all very cool.

But in a world that is so rapidly becoming global, are they going to have the skills to participate in the ways that will be asked of them? And what I mean by this is: we've gone overboard, and we're staggeringly close to the brink of disaster.

My generation is the first of it's kind. Many of our households had two parents who worked with few exceptions. So when you think about it, we're a generation of children who were raised by nannies, teachers, coaches, and other care providers during the day while our parents worked to make ends meet. This seems to have stricken a nerve somewhere deep in our parenting psyches because today, I see many stay a home parents of both genders, and lots of parents who want to be highly involved in their children's lives. This is a good thing.

Until it isn't.

Helicopter parenting is a real thing. And the inclination to over parent seems to be taking the reigns. Reason be damned, we seem to simply be unable to stop ourselves. It starts slowly with things like video monitors for our children...we feel like it gives us peace of mind, being able to see them--to know precisely what they are doing and when--and the next thing you know, you're terrified to let them out of your sight. Afraid to let them fall. Afraid to let them learn that it's okay when they didn't get a trophy at field day. Afraid to tell them that, no, "graduating" from fifth grade is simply expected of them and a part of getting older.

The thing is, children don't need parents--even awesome stay at home parents-- to hoover over them. They don't need to be sheltered from every disappointment or hardship that comes their way. They need someone who is there to put the bandaid and neosporin on when the cut occurs. What they need is someone strong enough to be there and help them sort through those things and make good decisions. They need to know that they can do it, not someone to to do it for them.

Children are wonderful. They can bring us moments that take our breath away. But they also need space. They don't need to be worshiped and coddled to the point of incapacitation.

Parents: don't drink the Kool-Aid.

Don't believe that you have to do everything for you kid. Don't hoover. Let them be kids and make mistakes and learn through experience. It's not our job as parents to manufacture every moment for them...even if it is our evolving instinct. Keep in mind that you are doing something important: you're raising the future leaders of our world. Parenting isn't about being comfortable all the time, or keeping your kid happy. It's about getting in there and making tough decisions, and sometimes helping your child learn hard lessons.

Now get out there, and live your own life. Your child will thank you.

Most Sincerely Yours,